eHarmony eHarmony
by ,
4 5stars

eHarmony Review

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Bottom Line:
Emphasis on guidance and deep connections, larger users base seeking committed relationships, some people are not accepted

Full Review:
He Said/She Said Ratings:

We took two volunteers, a man and a woman, and had them sign up for each service, fill out a profile, look at their matches, and then give us their impressions. We also asked them to rate each of our reviewed online dating sites.

He said:
"...there's actually nothing I can say about eHarmony's matching system. It found me unsuitable for any matches, which is a bit shocking and, I don't know, maybe insulting too. It's not that they didn't have any matches for me just yet, but they would never, have any matches for me, ever. So, I guess there's a certain personality profile that doesn't fit with their philosophy. I said I was divorced, and maybe it coupled that with some other answers in my personality evaluation.

Maybe I'm not traditional enough, for their profile system, I don't know. But, you know, as Groucho Marx said, 'I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member,' so maybe there's something to it, after all."

She said:
"...The eHarmony quiz was LONG. Plus, I feel like they asked me the same questions on spirituality over and over in different ways. However, I did appreciate the detail they asked for on my favorite movies, books, TV shows, and activities. I think these things say a lot about a person and I would like to meet someone who's into the same things I'm into. So I'd say the length of the profile quiz was worth it, but I would only tell someone to embark on it if they have a whole afternoon to kill.

As for the matches that came back for me, they were... interesting. I understand eHarmony is a site that caters to a cleaner, more conservative audience, but some of the personality profiles were a little too fluffy... [with one guy's profile] I couldn't help but roll my eyes and wonder if he was for real."

Site Details

eHarmony caters to users who are looking for a serious relationship based on a deep and meaningful connection. Like, eHarmony suggests matches based on a detailed personality test, but with a greater emphasis on shared values and similar backgrounds. Because this online dating site was designed to serve a specific type of user, some will find that it does not serve their needs at all, while others will be sure to appreciate this uniquely detailed and insightful approach to online dating.

Profile Creation

You'll have to be willing to dedicate a fair amount of time and effort to complete eHarmony's free personality test, but if you do, you'll be rewarded with an extensive and nuanced analysis of your personality, based on agreeableness, openness, emotional stability, conscientiousness, and extraversion. Unlike other online dating sites, eHarmony declines to match about 20% of potential users, based on the results of this personality test. The results of your personality test will not be revealed to potential matches unless you choose to do so. Instead, your profile will include a primary photo and up to 11 additional photos, as well as short answers to several questions about your personality, interests, and lifestyle. If you have difficulty with this written portion of your profile, eHarmony offers a profile advising service. For $99.95, professional writers will work with you to craft thorough answers that showcase your personality. eHarmony also offers an optional service called RelyID, which, for $5.95 a year, will verify and authenticate your name, city, and age, in order to reassure potential matches that you are indeed who you say you are.


eHarmony, like, does not allow users to search or browse through potential matches. Instead, you will only be able to view profiles that are suggested by eHarmony's matchmaking system. This means that the matching criteria you indicate in your profile are especially important, since these preferences, along with the results of your personality test, will be used to help select your suggested matches. You can always tweak your matching criteria in order to expand, limit, or change the types of matches that eHarmony provides. Since your profile is only visible to those whom the system has identified as a compatible match, eHarmony is more private than most online dating sites.

You'll be able to review your suggested matches' profiles prior to subscribing, but you will not be able to view their photos or communicate, aside from sending a pre-written icebreaker message. eHarmony does offer occasional free communication weekends, to allow nonpaying members to contact or respond to suggested matches. Outside of these weekends, though, nonpaying members will not be able to respond to communication requests, which may be frustrating for subscribing members who cannot determine whether a particular profile belongs to a paying or nonpaying member.


Once you have subscribed to eHarmony and are interested in communicating with a suggested match, you can choose to begin a four-stage communication process or skip directly to email. The guided communication process is designed to facilitate the process of getting to know one another, but some may find it too drawn-out. During the first step, you'll both choose five multiple choice questions for the other to answer. During the second, you'll each share ten qualities that you must have in a partner, and ten that you can't stand. During the third step, you'll both answer three open-ended questions that reveal more about your inner thoughts, feelings, and values. The fourth step is email sent through eHarmony, which does not require you to reveal your personal contact information. You can also move directly to email at any point during the guided communication process.

If you opt for a TotalConnect Plan, you will get RelyID as part of the package along with a Premium Personality Profile that provides in-depth insight into how your personality affects your relationships and Secure Call, which lets you safely call matches without revealing your phone number.

eHarmony has also created an entire website dedicated solely to dating and relationship advice, with a strong emphasis on self-assessment and self-awareness. This advice section includes a wealth of thoughtful and informative content as well as forums where you can discuss dating and relationships with other eHarmony members.


If you want to browse through many potential matches, or are looking for a casual date, eHarmony is probably not for you. But if you want a more guided online dating experience and are ready to make a commitment based on shared perspectives and values, eHarmony can help make that happen.


Cost/Month Total Cost Savings
24-month Basic subscription $11.95 $286.80 $1,152.00
12-month Basic subscription $13.95 $167.40 $552.00
6-month Basic subscription $30.95 $185.70 $174.00
24-month TotalConnect subscription $11.95 $286.80 $1,152.00
12-month TotalConnect subscription $18.95 $227.40 $492.00
6-month TotalConnect subscription $32.95 $197.70 $162.00
1-month subscription $59.95 $59.95 $-

Sign up for eHarmony | Compare to Other Online Dating Sites

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Service Details


See All Discounts
Relationship Type:Relationship Seekers
User Base*:20+ million singles;
43% male /
57% female
Matching Method:Automated matching based on personality test; no searching
Features:Guided communication; email & IM; Block Users

*Quantcast Data used for male/female ratio and accurate as of June, 2012

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